Relaxation and Whatnot
by Charlion EM
Summary: Wally booked a romantic getaway, only to have the relationship end months before. Not wanting to let the reservation go to waste, he invites Dick along and tries to get him to relax. (Post Endgame)
1. Chapter 1

This was supposed to be a short fluff piece. Damn. It should only be about 3 chapters and I'll keep them short.

It has been a long time since I wrote anything for this fandom, and this is the first non-drabble I've posted for it. Please, PLEASE, let me know if I got something wrong :)

* * *

To say he would do anything for his friend -his _best_ friend- would be an understatement of such enormous size it would surely need its own containment unit. Or its own name. But Dick knew it already had a name: love. And, as the days grew closer and closer to New Years, Dick wasn't certain he could go through with his promise, and the more a fake mission with Batman seemed like a good excuse to bail.

But… Wally asked him to go with him. Had said he needed him. Who was he to say no?

And if going along on what should have been Wally and Artemis' _romantic getaway_ helped Wally in some way, then, he would put his own feelings aside. Because, as always, Wally came first.

A snort from behind him pulled him from his thoughts. "Are you _really_ taking that?"

Dick stilled his hands, feeling his Nightwing costume between his fingers. He glanced down at his suitcase then to his side where Wally was leaning on the door frame.

"Dude, you won't need it." Wally took a few strides then was at Dick's side, one hand covering Dick's hand while the other cautiously tugged the costume away.

"What if-"

Wally sighed. "You went over it a million times. Tim is going to cover Bludhaven for a few days. No biggie. And Bats and the brat will be there if needed."

He let Wally pull the costume out of his hands and stow it away in the closet. "But what if-"

"Shit. I think you need this vacation more than I do." His hand was a heavy weight on Dick's shoulder. "Relax. Take the time off- shit, when was the last time you took some time for yourself?"

His mouth opened, ready to say 'When I spent a week with you when Artemis left', but he snapped it shut. Because, Wally had asked when he took time for _himself_. And it would result in an incredulous 'I said time for _yourself_ ', and, well, Dick promised he would never lie to Wally. 'It was for myself. I love you, and when you hurt, I hurt.'

Yea, _no_. Mouth shut, jaw locked. Wally could just infer what he wanted from his silence. And, he didn't need to know he had already packed one costume. Just in case.

A heavy sigh came from behind him. "Hurry up, I'll be in the car."

After a quick recheck, Dick zipped his suitcase and followed. By the time he exited his apartment, Wally had the car pulled up and the trunk open.

Dick muttered, "Show off," before shoving his bag next to Wally's. He still didn't understand why they had to _drive_. With all their combined resources, their options were limitless; they could take a Javelin, teleporter… shit, he would be _perfectly_ fine with Wally running them there, but _no,_ Wally insisted on _driving_.

A snort came from the driver's seat as Dick clicked his buckle in place. "Dude, don't look so _happy_. Seriously, you don't have to come, I can go by myself."

His heart sped up as something close to panic set in. He wanted to go, to be there for Wally. Just… "I don't want you to go alone. But-"

He cringed. But- he would be stuck sharing a room with Wally, probably a stupid romantic one too since he originally booked it for him and Artemis. He let his head fall against the window as Wally put the car in gear. He could do it. He could keep being there for Wally, keep pushing his feelings away, because, well, he would rather not lose Wally as a friend. Maybe they could bounce back if he did let something slip, but there was the lingering 'what if'- what if Wally kept his distance?

Dick held back a snort of his own. Knowing Wally, he would keep away to force Dick to hang out with, and fall in love with, someone else. And they would both suffer for it.

"Last chance, getting on the highway."

"Walls, I'm going."

"You don't need to come to keep me occupied. I'm fine now. Yes, this was supposed to be a romantic getaway with Artemis, but I'm over it. Fine. More than fine. It's my own fault for booking this a year out. I saw the writing on the wall, dude."

Dick sighed, his breath fogging the window. "I'm not changing my mind."

Wally laughed. "Richard Grayson on a vacation. Never thought I'd see it with my own eyes."

He straightened back up and stuck his tongue out. "I'd rather _stay_ cation. Pizza, Netflix, beat some bad guys."

"Aww, did you just ask me to 'Netflix and Chill'? I'm touched." He raised the back of his hand to his forehead in a mock swoon.

Ever thankful for Bruce's training, Dick kept his blush from spreading. It wasn't what he meant. And he knew Wally meant nothing by it. But…

Oh, it was going to be a long drive. And an even longer vacation.

* * *

Sometime later, hours after they stopped for food, Dick was woken by Wally's soft gasp of, "Whoa, breathtaking."

He blinked at the view from his window, which had served as something like a pillow. All that greeted him was a sheer wall of rock. With a slight stretch to ease his muscles after his impromptu nap -and okay, Wally was right, he _did_ need a break- he looked to Wally's side of the car.

The evening light was hitting Wally's hair just so, his eyes, focused on the road, reflected the colors of the setting sun. Dick's eyes traced patterns in the freckles dusted across his face. "Yea, breathtaking."

Dick blinked again and looked out Wally's window to the mountain view his friend had been referring to. Yes, it was beautiful. But not breathtaking. He focused back to his friend, finding that view much more appealing.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Wally's concerned glance was almost too much.

"It's fine." Shit, he was slipping. "I didn't mean to pass out on you. Do you want me to take a turn driving?"

Wally raised an eyebrow, his eyes never leaving the road. "No thanks, dude. I've seen how you drive and I want a _relaxing_ trip."

"Whatever, we'd be there by now if now if I was driving. Seriously, what is it with speedsters and driving the speed limit?"

"I'm going 10 over."

"Too slow." Dick sassed while he stretched a little more, relaxing at the familiar banter. "I know Barry taught you to drive, but seriously, he drives more carefully than Alfred."

"A car doesn't have the same movement range as when I'm running. It's not-"

" _Slooooooooooow_." Dick smirked.

"I'll show you _slow_."

"Wait, Wally, no!" Dick cringed as Wally slowed, pulling into the slower lane behind a Buick.

Wally feigned innocence, giving Dick a smile full of teeth. "Just going the speed _limit_."

"Walls…" It was good to have Wally back. Back from the speed force, back from his post breakup lethargy. Back to him; back _home_.

"Our exit is coming up," Wally offered as explanation.

"I'd be there already." Dick studied his friend for a few moments until the quiet of the vehicle and his own curiosity got the better of him. "You never answered my question last night."

For a few seconds, Dick was afraid the only response he would get was white knuckles squeezing the steering wheel. Then, Wally relaxed his hold and sighed. He didn't take his eyes from the road, didn't look over his way.

"Dick, I- it's too much."

"I'm not asking you to come _back_." He ran a hand through his hair, absentmindedly thinking he could use a hair cut. "Just, once a week, or twice a month or something. You're one of the first, one of the _originals_ , having you around would help morale. Not to mention, the kids could stand to have someone _different_ kick their asses during training now and then."

He chanced a glance Wally's direction, his grip on the wheel had tightened again, his face tinged red.

"Fuck. Damnit. Don't you start guilting me."

The angry undertone took Dick by surprise. "Wally I-"

"Shut up."

Both of his eyebrows shot up at that. "I'm sorry." He stared straight ahead as Wally took their exit off the highway and onto a smaller state road. To keep himself from talking more until Wally was ready, he busied himself with studying the view of the mountains as well as the small businesses along the side of the road.

After a few more miles Wally sighed. "I guess I'm not as over it as I thought."

"Shit, Walls… I didn't think- shit."

"No, it's fine. You're not… look, I never told you everything Artemis said while she tried to convince me to rejoin the team. But, she said some pretty mean things while trying to guilt me into it…"

When Wally first told him Artemis left, he wanted to hurt her. Not physically, no. But he wanted her to _see_ how much pain she caused, how much destruction. He stayed at Wally's side, kept him busy with video games or projects, forced him to eat- which didn't take too much cajoling, thankfully. It wasn't until a few weeks passed, and Wally began to come back to himself, that Dick wondered if he had a chance. Before the Reach, before Wally _disappeared_ , Artemis had Wally's heart. By the time he realized his own heart would speed up when Wally touched his arm wasn't something that happened for everyone, or that the longing he felt when Wally was away tugged at his heart _too_ much- it had been too late. Artemis was there.

Then, again, she was there when Wally came back to them. Even then, Dick knew it wouldn't last. Yet, he kept his opinion to himself, let his best friend be happy. And now… now he didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry." It hadn't been on purpose, he would never intentionally hurt Wally, he knew that right? "Walls… It's not going to hurt our friendship, is it? That I'm still…"

"What?" Wally gave him a sharp look. "Nothing- _nothing_ \- will ever hurt our friendship. We've been friends since forever, what, over ten years? Like hell I'm going to give that up because you keep running out on pizza night because some jackass with a half baked plan is holding hostages."

"It was _one time_ ," Dick muttered. Despite Wally's insistence, he knew it would cause a rift, eventually. It would happen gradually. They would eventually grow apart, Wally would make non-hero friends, have the normal life he wanted. And Dick would let him move on, let him be happy, he wouldn't let Wally miss out because of his own choices.

"Hey, knock of the bat-brood."

Dick ignored the jab. "Please, think about it?" He pulled their bag of trail mix out of the center console. "Some consideration, that's all I ask. And if you go once and it's too much, I'll never pester you again."

"Fine. I'll _think_ about it." He reached over for a handful of the snack. "I just… I wanted things to go back to normal. Like they were before the invasion. Before…" He trailed off- but Dick could read between the lines: _'Before I disappeared for over three years'_.

"How much longer?"

He could visibly see Wally relax at the subject change. "Probably another hour."

"Sloooooooooooow."

A peanut hit the side of his head and bounced to floor. "Deal with it."

* * *

Thank you for reading!

I do not remember when or why the 'speedsters driving slow' thing became a solid head canon for me, but it's there and won't go away.

Critique and nit-picking is welcome- it's how I learn and grow :)


	2. Chapter 2

I've been looking for an excuse to write this- I couldn't get another ship to sing this song (I blame Peter) and I'm sooooo happy Wally is a cooperative character to write.

Thank you for your encouragement so far! It means a lot to me.

* * *

The further north they went, the more snow they began to see along the side of the road. It was sheer luck they were driving on dry roads; according to his phone's alert, there was a large system moving into the area that night with a projected foot of snow, possibly more at the altitude of their resort.

When Wally turned them onto the narrow road leading up the mountain, snow began to pepper the windshield.

"Ooo! Look, Dick!" Wally grinned at the small flurries.

"Yes, _snow_. _Great_." He leaned his head against the window again. Besides their banter, and earlier discussion, the ride had been _boring_. Back home, snow meant most criminals took the night off. It made for a safer day, but then the first night without snow would be full of those same criminals trying to make up for lost time. It meant longer, and more dangerous, nights of patrol.

Wally stuck his tongue out. "You get snow all the time. Central gets _maybe_ a dusting if we're lucky. Well, unless Cold is out and about. But even then, it's more _ice_ than _snow_."

"Then you can go play in it. I'm going to stay in the room, where it is warm, and catch up on my research."

"Like hell." Wally slowed as they pulled up to the building, carefully parking in the spot for drop off and pick up. Once the car was off, he turned fully to Dick. "You're helping me build a snowman."

"Yea, no." Dick unbuckled himself and stepped out of the vehicle. He followed Wally, who dropped the subject far too easily for his comfort.

The wind picked up as they crossed the lot to the entrance, it blew his bangs painfully against his face, and it put 'get a haircut' further up on his to-do list. It didn't bode well if the storm was hitting already. The short walk wasn't bad, but he did wish he'd worn something a little warmer. They both only had on light jackets, their heavy coats packed away in the trunk.

Wally led him into building, through the double set of doors, and to the main desk. He stood slightly behind Wally as he checked in with the overly cheerful lady at the desk. The decor was rustic, reminding him more of a hunting cabin than a luxury resort. A fire was burning in the sitting area in front of the desk and he spied another set of chairs and a couch near the large back windows. It was cozy.

He tuned back into Wally's conversation as he was handed two keys to their room. The attendant gave them quick directions- down the hall, up the stairs- before grabbing a sheet of paper off the printer behind her.

"Alrighty, behind you here is the stairs leading to the tavern and restaurant." Dick turned to see a large set of stairs leading downstairs. "Your dinner reservation for tomorrow night is set for 6pm in the main dining room. If you are planning on dining with us tonight, I suggest setting reservations now, it's already filling up. Let's see, and I have your couple's massages set for 10am tomorrow, then your sleigh ride at 3pm."

She was giving directions to the spa and barn, but Dick tuned her out. Not _once_ had Wally mentioned anything about couple's massages or sleigh rides. Or… or…

"... and would you like us to send your champagne and truffles up a while?"

"Uh, um.. could you bring it up later tonight?" Wally stuttered out as he signed the check-in form.

"Sure thing. Wonderful, all set. Enjoy your stay, I'm here if you have any questions."

They both mumbled out a thanks and moved to the hall. "So," Dick sighed, "let's find the room then bring our bags up?"

Wally nodded and rubbed his elbow. "Um, this way, I think."

Their room was upstairs at the far end of the lodge. Above the wooden door was a carved wood sign labeling the room as 'Lover's Retreat'. Fantastic. Wally unlocked the door and pushed it forward, motioning for Dick to enter as he held the door open.

"So, yea." The door closed with a solid thud. "I couldn't change rooms…"

Dick swallowed as he looked around the room. There was a sitting area with two leather chairs in front of the fireplace and behind them was a small kitchen. At least it wasn't filled with frills, lace, and hearts. It was decorated similarly to the main lobby: wood and leather.

"Sweet!" Wally zipped around the corner of the enclosed fireplace, tapping on the glass on the other side.

Dick rolled his eyes at his friend's antics before bending down to look through to Wally. On the other side was the bed, and he could see what may have been a couch.

Wally grinned. "Doctor?"

"Your British accent sucks." It earned him a middle finger and a lopsided grin. He stood back up to walk around the fireplace where the sleeping area was. "I'll take the couch."

"Pffft." Wally pulled him forward by his shoulders, turned him around and pushed him onto the 'couch'. "Dude, you're more than welcome to sleep on this, but I don't see how that's physically possible -or comfortable."

It was a leather love seat, comfortable enough for them to sit on side by side, but not enough room for him to lay out. He shrugged, forcing down his growing panic as he stretched out. "I'm flexible."

Wally blinked at him. "Ooookay. Yea, not letting you kill your neck. Dude, the bed's a king, plenty of room."

He turned around and scrutinized the bed; yes, it was large, but would he be able to keep his unconscious self from erasing the distance between them? From previous relationships he knew he was prone to sleep snuggling.

Wally slid onto the couch next to him and snaked an arm around his shoulders, pulling him against Wally's side. "Like we've never shared a bed before. Feh!"

"We were kids…" And he had stopped doing so when he realized his feelings for Wally were not so platonic. Soon after, they stopped having sleepovers all together; Dick always had an excuse to leave early, or a reason Wally couldn't stay the night. It usually involved a mask and some rooftops.

The warmth around his shoulders was removed and Wally stretched. He instantly missed the warmth, more so when Wally stood and walked back to the sitting area without glancing back.

"I guess we should bring the bags up," Dick said as he walked around to join his friend.

Wally was standing in front of the window, the curtains now pulled open to reveal the view of the mountains and lake. It was beautiful, covered in a layer of snow, and low clouds hid the peaks from view. It was stunning, and it reminded him again of how far from the city they were.

"Yea," Wally sighed, not bothering to turn around. "I need to move the car to the main lot too."

Dick swallowed at the sudden melancholy in his friend's voice. "I'm going to wizz first. I'll meet you at the car."

Wally nodded and turned around, grabbing his keys before heading out the front door. Dick shook his head as he crossed back to where the bathroom was. It wasn't like Wally to have sudden mood swings, it was less like him to go from jovially teasing him to all but refusing to look at him. He replayed their conversation but couldn't figure it out. It happened when he mentioned how they would hang out as kids. But, he had pulled away a bit during the car ride too.

He swung open the bathroom door, fully expecting the usual tub and shower combo with a sickly looking toilet in the corner. But no, Wally _did_ go all out for Artemis. The walk-in shower was tucked into the right wall and sported three shower heads, and there was a separate tub that looked large enough to fit half the team. He was used to such opulence from living at the manor, and boy did he ever miss the bathrooms. His current apartment didn't even _have_ a tub.

When he left the bathroom, no more than 30 seconds later, Wally was setting down what appeared to be the last of the luggage. Everything was in a pile, coats included.

He raised a cautious eyebrow, unsure if Wally's mood had improved. "Isn't it a little risky to be speedstering around in the day time?"

"I was careful." Wall shrugged. "I put your laptop bag on your side of the bed."

Dick swallowed, his mind jumping to what sort of implications 'his side of the bed' held. "Thanks."

"I'm going to head down. There's some sleds available… and a steep hill." He paused to pull his boots and a sweater out of his luggage. "I'm thinking: build a snowman army at the bottom of the hill and sled down to destroy them." He turned around with a devilish grin, "Are you in?"

Dick eyed the bed. If he took another nap now, he would be fine to stay up all night working on his laptop- there _was_ a case he could look into even from there. He would just wait until Wally fell asleep, then sneak to the other room. No awkward snuggling. No early morning love confessions.

"You have fun. I'm going to take a nap."

"Loser."

"You're the one who told me I need to relax more."

He eyed Wally as he began to add layers. It was odd, wasn't it, that he would speed to bring their luggage in, but not to put on his snow gear. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he refrained, unsure how Wally would react to such an accusatory question.

His brows knit together as he sat on the side of the bed. Why didn't he know how Wally would react? And why did it matter, they had always been close enough to ask each other the 'taboo' questions. The sudden realization hit him: they were already growing apart. And they had been for some time. Since Wally returned, the only time they spent together was group events- then they had that solid chunk when Artemis left, which wasn't really bonding, it was just… being there. In the nearly two years Wally had been back, he could count the times they hung out on one hand. Pathetic.

The zipper on Wally's luggage pulled him back to the present. To his friend. They had all weekend to hang out. His eyes followed Wally as he tried to find a way to fix it. Wally walked around the corner to the sitting room without a word, then his head popped around the corner. His knuckles rapped on the wall, sounding out a familiar pattern. Dick had baby sat Lian enough times to know what was going to come out of Wally's mouth before the first syllable reached his ears.

"~Do you wanna build a snowman?~ Come on lets go and play~" Wally took a few steps forward. "~ I never see you anymore ~ Come out the door~ It's like you've gone away~"

Dick swallowed around the growing lump in his throat. He knew how the song went- Lian had him sing to her on multiple occasions, much to Roy's entertainment. His previous thoughts returned; had Wally realized they were growing apart as well?

Wally was right in front of him, never once breaking song. "~ We used to be best buddies ~ ~And now we're not~~ I wish you would tell me why!~~Do you wanna build a snowman?~"

Dick answered in song, "~It doesn't have to be a snowman~" He reached up and pulled Wally down into his arms. "I'm sorry Walls. Shit. I didn't try to- I want us to still be best buddies."

Warm arms circled his waist. "We are. I'm just as much at fault… I spent so much time with _her_ , even _before_ …"

Dick took a deep breath against Wally's shoulder, taking in the scent of his cologne along with the much needed air. He didn't like thinking about Wally's death- no, disappearance- and he had thought about it more than enough for one day.

Wally took a matching breath before pulling away slightly. "We'll hang out again- soon- after this trip, okay?"

Dick grinned, "Yea, one where neither of us is getting sloppy seconds."

"Hey, this room is not sloppy!"

"It will be after you're done living in it for a few days."

"Geez, see if I ever invite you for a bro weekend to a romantic trip I originally planned for- okay, sloppy seconds. Sorry." He at least did look sorry.

"I'll take whatever time I can get." He was growing increasingly aware of the warm arms still around his waist.

"So, snoman army?"

"Fine, fine." Dick playfully pushed Wally away so he could retrieve his own snow gear. As he tugged on his boots he sighed, paused, and looked up to Wally. "I was planning on staying up to work on a case, you know."

It earned him a scowl. "R-E-L-A-X-"

"Yea, yea. Well, I'm just going to warn you now: I have a bad habit of sleep snuggling. Don't kill me if you wake up to me using you as a pillow or something." He bent his head, pretending to lace his boots to hide was felt like an obvious blush. He didn't hear anything from Wally for a few seconds then a loud guffaw filled the room. A quick look back up revealed Wally holding his sides as he doubled over with laughter.

"S-Seriously? D-dude. Do you have any idea how many times I had to pry you off of me when I woke up for a snack in the middle of the night?" He sunk down against the wall, wiping his eyes. "Yo-you had no idea, did you?"

Dick ducked his head back down. He thought it began with Zatanna- had he really done it to Wally when they were kids? Mortified didn't begin to describe it. He was more glad than ever he stopped their sleepovers when he began to like-like Wally.

Wally's laughter died down. "Dude, whoa. If it bothers you that much we can make a pillow barrier or something."

"What, no!" Dick dragged a hand over his face. "No, I mean… I'm not against-you- just, I mean, you... " He sighed. "Yea, a pillow barrier should work."

Wally stood back up and grabbed his coat, then headed toward the door. "That army isn't going to build itself."

Dick sighed, taking the offered change of subject. "No using your speed to make your army quicker." He pulled his coat on and chased after Wally. Maybe he should just push the limits like he used to. He was always tiptoeing around asking about Wally's speed, about his time 'gone', about why he was so adamant on living a 'normal life'... "Actually, I have a question about that…"

* * *

 **Thank you for reading!**

They will discus more about feelings, friendship, and the impending 'couples' things next chapter. More awkward to come- I promise it will lead to romance :)


	3. Chapter 3

Truths are demanded, and an agreement is reached

A bit of a slow chapter, more of a transition than anything. Don't worry, the next chapter will start with a lot of fluff.

* * *

That night, Dick found the pattern in the ceiling above the bed especially interesting. The wood grain of each strip was artfully placed to create a flow which almost let his mind focus on something other than Wally. _Wally_. He filled his lungs with air and let it all out in one long puff, but it did nothing to ease the tension in his shoulders.

He kept his gaze forward, to the ceiling. If he looked to his right he would only encounter a fluffy wall of pillows. But he knew Wally was laying just a few inches from him, could feel the warmth despite the distance and makeshift barrier. Occasionally he would feel Wally move, turning in his sleep which had come so easily to the speedster. So, he glanced left instead. The bright blue of the alarm clock read somewhere between _'far too late'_ and ' _far too early'_. He was a bat, a vigilante of the _night_ ; he doubted sleep would have came easily even if he wasn't replaying the afternoon over and over. But- he would have _tried_ to sleep if Wally had given him more than a deflecting answer to his questions. For best friends, they sure were luke-warm.

 _" I just like to run sometimes."_  
 _"I just do."_  
 _"Why are you so interested?"_  
 _"Hey, did you want to grab dinner at the bar downstairs?"_

Another sigh, deeper this time.

Dinner hadn't been any better, but he let Wally talk his ear off about the newest bit of research they were doing. Neither acknowledged their server's remark of _'Would you like to split dessert? Couples always love the lava cake'-_ because embarrassing. It didn't phase Wally one way or another, and he ordered one to go without looking Dick's way. The single bite he managed to steal _had_ been very tasty.

He shifted his position, folding an arm behind his head. Maybe he should call it, admit he wasn't going to be able to sleep while Wally was so close. And so far. He mentally shook his head. The case he was working wasn't pressing, but it could be a nice distraction.

 _Like the champagne._

When they returned from dinner, the bottle of champagne and box of truffles was waiting on the high table in the dinette. He glanced at the label as he walked past, and damn, that was an expensive bottle. Wally had spared no expense for Artemis. _She didn't deserve it._ The pressure it took to bite his lip, to keep from saying it out loud, nearly drew blood. When he walked back around after changing into his PJs, he noticed the card was in the trash. He plucked it out and read it before Wally could protest. _'Congratulations! May your life together be full of joy and love'_.

Wally jerked it from his hand and tossed it back to the trash. "Don't."

 _Shit_. He hadn't known. Had no idea. "Fuck. Wally I-"

"Don't." The speedster's tone was dangerously level.

 _Don't_? _Well, too fucking bad_. "Walls…"

But, he hadn't known what to say.

And he still had no clue. They barely spoke since then, each stewing in their own thoughts. Dick sighed again. He felt the bed move as Wally shifted once more.

Suddenly, his vision of the wood ceiling was replaced by white cotton. The force of the pillow hitting him wasn't as jarring as the voice which accompanied it. "For fucks sake, you keep sighing like Arte did that time I played that prank on her and she couldn't decide if she wanted to break up with me or kiss me."

He pushed the pillow away and sat up slightly. "Which time?"

It earned him another pillow aimed at his face, but he was prepared this time and caught it mid swing. With a quick yank and twist, he pulled it out of Wally's hands and put it out of his reach.

Maybe it was lack of sleep (as if), or the cumulation of conflicting emotions (probably), or just how _close_ Wally was (definitely), but Dick couldn't find it in him to care what came out of his mouth at that point. "Speaking of Arte." He let himself have half a second to enjoy the look of shock forming on Wally's face -what he could make out in the darkness- before pushing ahead. "You were going to propose?"

He felt, more than saw, Wally look away. "I told you to drop it."

"When have you ever known me to do what I'm told?" His mouth took a downward turn, which Wally couldn't have seen even if he was looking. "Why didn't you tell _me_. _Before_. Or _after_ , while I was trying to comfort you. Shit Wally. I'm your best friend. Or was all that talk on the ride here just lip service to get me to shut up?"

Wally balled the comforter in his hands. After a few moments of silence, Dick pushed on. He would get an answer. Either way, he wanted the truth.

"Why even invite me? You've deflected almost this entire trip so far! You could have just taken the loss or came alone. Am I just here to entertain you? To build snowmen armies?" He was running out of steam, running out of things to say. Running out of patience.

Wally gave a humorless chuckle. "Those were some awesome snowmen."

His back flinched, caught between a cold shiver and locking straight. The flaw of Dick Grayson. He cared, couldn't help it. And he _felt_. He could turn it off when he wore the mask, had learned to bury it early on when he still wore the R on his chest. But Dick Grayson _felt_. The cold of the wood floor on his feet grounded him slightly, and he could think beyond the pounding in his ears.

He was halfway to the bathroom, calculating the best course to get his Nightwing costume on and himself out a window, when a flash a red and orange and his path was blocked. A warm hand on his shoulder pushed him back to the edge of the bed. The dim light of the table lamp filled the room, Wally must have turned it on when he zipped over. There would be no more hiding in the dark.

"I get it." He refused to look away from the wall as he spoke in a hoarse voice. "I do, Wally. You don't need to... to try and keep holding on. I won't hold it against you if you walk away. If you don't want me in your life then-"

"You ass." He couldn't read Wally's tone, but refused to look up at his friend to study his face. He didn't want to see. Wally continued, digging his fingers into Dick's shoulders as he spoke. "You think I don't want you in my life? I need you in it."

Blue eyes snapped up to meet green.

Wally continued, "I invited _you_ because I haven't _seen_ you- not in months. And- shit." He removed his hand from Dick's shoulder to run it through his red hair. "I don't know how it got this bad."

"Maybe because you won't talk to me?" His gaze turned into a challenge.

"Me?" Wally threw his hands in the air and spun slightly in place. "I won't talk to _you_? You know that is a two way street, right?"

Dick ground his back teeth. "What are you talking about?" Did he know- had he somehow found out?

Wally inflated a bit, and Dick remembered why angering a speedster was a terrible idea. A pale finger was in his face, nearly touching his nose. "You. _You_! You haven't talked to me- not really. Since I've been back you haven't talked to me. Playing video games with Roy doesn't count."

His whole demeanor changed, the boiling rage evaporated as he took a seat on the bed, leaving no space between them. "Dick. Fuck, I need some sleep before I word vomit."

"You've never been very articulate anyway." It was a lame attempt, but it eased some of the tension out of Wally's shoulders.

"I thought you didn't care- that you had just gone on living without me. That my death didn't affect you at all." Wally's voice was just above a whisper, strained with emotion. "Everyone from the old team nearly suffocated me with their worry, their constant checking up. But it was good to know they cared, that they had missed me and wanted to spend time with me. But not you. Even Tim came over. But after that first time, you disappeared. Had an excuse every time. So, I stopped inviting you over. Stopped talking about personal stuff- because why bother, right?

"Then why bother now?" Dick felt his throat begin to constrict again. They hadn't fallen away while he and Artemis dated, it was deliberate. He thought he was doing the right thing by staying out of their way. At the shimmer in Wally's eyes, he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer than they already were. How had he miscalculated so terribly?

"After you showed up, took care of me when she left…" Wally let his head fall against his shoulder. "When you left after that week I made a comment to Roy about it." Dick felt him shake with a humorless laugh. "I forget what I said exactly, but Roy nearly took off my head for thinking you didn't care. Yelled at me- made me sit while he told me…"

Dick tensed. He was going to have a talk with Roy. "I didn't want you to know. Didn't want you to worry." He rushed the words out, giving Wally a squeeze closer to him.

"You should have told me you quit the team. That you- shit. I felt like such an ass after he told me everything."

Talking about his complete devastation at Wally's death was not what he thought he would be doing on this trip. Dick forced himself not to nuzzle his nose against Wally. Too intimate. Too dangerous. He couldn't tell Wally, wouldn't let him have the clues to figure it out. Wally needed a friend, not some jackass trying to get into his pants. He settled for rubbing a circle pattern on his back. Having Wally close was all he needed, all he wanted, and hopefully the contact soothed Wally too .

"Yea. I, um. I had to step back. Evaluate just how much of an ass I was." Wally lifted his head off Dick's shoulder so he could look him in the eyes. "I came back and went straight to Arte, acted like _she_ was then one who needed-"

" _Wally_. She did need you. We all grieved differently." He lifted a finger to wipe at the trail on Wally's cheek. "I'm sorry. For being an ass tonight." _Please stop talking about it._ "And the last year." _Please don't make me remember losing you._ "Let's both get some sleep and talk more in the morning."

Wally sighed and gave a mute nod. Before he could say anything else, Wally pulled him into a bone crushing hug. "I'll tell you everything."

"Me too." He gently nudged Wally back to his side of the bed while mentally berating himself for promising something he knew he couldn't hold to.

"Goodnight."

"Night." Emotional exhaustion was a hell of a thing and sleep finally found him.

* * *

Thank you for reading!

All of your encouragement has been wonderful! I'm trying to keep this updated, but it wasn't supposed to be this long, and, well, time is not on my side right now.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for your patience with me! I had some personal stuff (all good) and then a busted phone- but new phone= able to write again! Yay. Not much action, moving towards more fluff. Hoping to wrap it up next chapter.

* * *

With _the life_ came a set of expectations. Expectations from others: how you should act, how you should talk. Expectations from yourself: to push further, to save someone else, to be faster, smarter, better. When he first took up the mantel as Robin, Dick understood those expectations, knew they were there and that they would only increase as he got older. But he never could have anticipated the expectations for death, for destruction, and for the nightmares they would bring. Death was nothing new to him, he learned of it far too young. But in the naivety of his youth, in his eagerness to wear the 'R', he failed to calculate for death.

Failing to save a bystander never got easier, but he quickly learned to become numb, to not carry the burden, to stop having constant nightmares of civilians dying while he stood and watched, helpless to save them. Those nightmares never went away, not fully, but they were manageable.

But losing a friend, a fellow hero? That never got easier. He could never numb it, could never stop _those_ nightmares. Tula still invaded his dreams, even years later. But since the Reach Invasion, Wally was a nightly visitor in his unconscious mind.  
The nightmares were _expected_.

He didn't sleep much, or at all, for a while. And when he did, it wasn't a restful sleep. Even with Wally back, _alive_ , the nightmares didn't dissipate; they only changed, showing him all the possibilities for Wally to die _again_ , or tricking him into thinking Wally had never came back to being with.

So, when he drifted back to consciousness with _out_ a silent scream in his lips, or a cold sweat on his brow, he was momentarily disoriented. Was it just a continuation of a nightmare, a lull before the jump-scare…

Without the adrenaline from the night's nightmare in his veins, waking up was slower than normal. As his mind defogged, he grew more aware of how warm he was, nearly unbearably so. And his pillow was not as comfortable as it had been when he first awoke. To add to his discomfort, his neck itched like his blanket was tickling the exposed skin.

Dick blinked his eyes open, taking in the blinding light pouring in from the window where Wally had pulled the curtain back the previous evening.

"M'ning Dickie Bird." With the groggy greeting, Dick felt his pillow rumble under his ear.

The previous night came to the forefront of his mind: arguing with Wally, leaning on him, falling asleep in the same bed… and their passive aggressive pillow fight before all of that… with the pillows from his _barrier_. Dick closed his eyes against his growing panic, willing it to still be a dream, for him to wake up on his own side of the bed and not wrapped around his friend.

The tickle on his neck was back, but grew in pressure, expanding up his head. _Wally_. He sucked in a breath, torn between springing away and enjoying Wally's fingers dancing through his hair.

He took stock of their position the best he could without opening his eyes again. One arm was pinned under himself, against Wally's side, while the other draped over Wally, around his arm, and ended with his hand securely under Wally's back. Legs… he felt his face heat up at the realization one of his legs was pulled up, over a hip- which was _seriously_ digging into his calf- and his foot tucked under a heavy thigh.

"I f'got how much of an octopus you are." Wally yawned, pulling his other arm out of Dick's hold. "I know I'm an awesome pillow, but I'm really hungry…"

On cue, his stomach gurgled. It was _so_ Wally. Despite their awkward position, a chuckle escaped Dick's lips at the sound.

The fingers in his hair stilled, lingering on his scalp with a comforting pressure. "Sooo, food?"

Dick forced his eyes open, "Yea, yea." He moved his leg first, wondering if Wally's boney hip was going to leave a bruise, then pushed himself up, rolling off of Wally completely. The coldness of the other side of the bed was a sharp contrast to the warmth of Wally, and he instantly missed the contact.

"You're also heavier than I remember." Wally pulled himself into a sitting position and rubbed at his chest with a playful frown.

"Well, I'd hope- ya, know, since I'm not 13 anymore." The awkwardness he expected never came, any shimmer there had been melted away with the familiar sound of Wally's laugh.

* * *

Breakfast with a speedster -well, any meal with a speedster- was an event to behold. And eating in public? Well, Dick was glad they woke up before the majority of the other hotel guests as Wally woofed down _another_ round of pancakes.

"So," Wally said around his fork, "After our massages, wanna go sledding again?"

"Um." He signed. They had not discussed the 'couples' activities which were included with Wally's reservation. Dick had honestly forgotten all about it until then, he had been so focused on _Wally_ yesterday.

Wally put his fork down. _Down_ down. Not in his hand while it rested on the table. Actually _down_. Dick witnessed something similar once - _once_ \- from Barry. It precipitated an unpleasant conversation about how the team needed Dick to come back, about how Wally's _death_ hit all of them hard. His throat grew dry in the seconds after, waiting for Wally to say his peace.

"Dick… if you're _uncomfortable_ , we can skip it. Or I can skip it." Dick knew he meant the messages, meant being naked together. "I'll skip it. You need to relax."

"Stop trying to get me to relax." Dick rubbed his temple. "Why do you think I'd be uncomfortable?" How much had he given away?

Wally looked out the window to the snowy landscape. "You've… made it kinda clear you're uncomfortable being close." He shrugged. "Like you're afraid I might disappear again. I don't know."

Dick bit his lip, their whispered promises the night before echoed around him. "I have nightmares. About you dieing."

Wally sucked in a breath. Dick could feel his eyes on him, but kept his gaze firmly on his bowl of cereal. "I'm alive, I'm fine…"

With a shake of his head, Dick looked up, confirming Wally was in front of him. "I know."

"Well, you didn't seem to have one last night.. you seemed at peace this morning."

"D-did you watch me sleep? How long?" Instead of the invasion of privacy- or whatever he expected to feel at that- his heart swelled with affection.

"I didn't want to wake you up just because I was hungry." Wally's cheeks darkened. "I used to just move you if I was hungry. But you'd never latched on like that before."

Dick closed his mouth with a snap. He was mortified. "Sorry. I'll make sure the pillows stay in place tonight."

Wally waved his hand. "If being close helps you sleep, helps you know I'm _really_ here, then I insist."

"I'll be fine. Promise. You can get up at this unholy hour yourself tomorrow."

Wally snorted. "We have another two hours until our massages…"

Dick sighed, "Maybe we should talk a little before?"

"Sure."

After Wally finished another stack of pancakaes, they made their way back to their room slowly, both dragging their feet while they fretted over what to say. Obviously, Wally had questions about while he was away. Dick knew he would need to select his answers carefully, he already had given too much away. When they arrived back to their room his eyes snapped to the trashcan where the note was tossed. It was empty, and a quick glance around told him housekeeping had come through.

Wally shifted his weight. "Um. We should probably shower before the massages. Don't wanna offend them with your dude-funk."

"Whatever. You can take yours first." Stalling was good. Stalling was great.

"There's a shower and a tub."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "And you take like 30 seconds to shower." Was Wally really suggesting…

"I kiiiiiiiinda want to soak in the tub." His ears began to tinge red.

It was endearing. "Don't be embarrassed. Tub soaking it allowed on vacation, right?"

"Riiiight." Wally chuckled. "Wanna join?" He froze, then backpedaled, "I mean, I did bring swim trunks, just in case there was a hot tub, and I think that thing qualifies."

He seriously hoped Wally couldn't hear the thump of his heart. Did he dare? Could he keep his body under control? An image of Wally, nearly naked, his swim trunks dangerously low as he stood from the water… Nope.

Dick shook his head. "Quick showers, then we talk. You can soak tonight when we don't have an appointment to keep."

Wally swallowed. "Yea, makes sense."

* * *

Dick toweled his hair and hoped it would dry before they had to leave. He'd taken as long of a shower as he could without being obvious. Wally was waiting on the bed, sprawled out and watching t.v. He spared a glance back when Dick opened the bathroom door to complain about the lack of channels.

"I don't think people come here to watch t.v." Wally tensed for half a second, but Dick caught it, a bat always caught it. "Shit, I didn't mean- I meant they come here to ski…." Foot, meet mouth.

"Sooooooo." Wally ignored the comment and turned the t.v off.

"Sooooooo," Dick echoed. He fell onto the bed, sprawling out to mimic Wally. "Fuck. I don't remember it being this hard for us to talk before. Like, ever."

"Well, we didn't talk for, what, a week? When M'gann joined the team." He rolled over to face Dick, propping himself up on his elbow. "If I remember, _someone_ was jealous."

Dick scoffed. "I didn't want to lose you as my best friend. 13 year old logic: girlfriend = no more best friend."

Wally frowned. "But… that did happen. When Arte and I both left the team."

"We didn't stop being bros. We...just didn't see each other as often… and it made it awkward with her always tagging along…"

"I should have tried for more bro time. Shit. Sorry."

Dick rolled to his back, tracing patterns on the wood ceiling again. "I miss having you on missions." He swallowed before continuing, willing his voice not to crack. "You had my back like no one else."

"Dick…"

"I know. I know. I'm not going to push you to come back. But it doesn't mean I don't miss having you there." He glanced to Wally, "I miss you having my back."

They laid in silence for a few minutes, thinking, processing, calculating.

"Dick?"

He turned his head again in acknowledgement.

"What made you go back to the team?"

Dick sighed and pulled himself up into a sitting position. Which details to share? Which to keep? "They needed me." He pulled at a loose thread on the comforter. "I was selfish in leaving. Everything reminded me of you. It was worse when you first left, back before the reach, when we still had the Cave and all your souvenirs… but you were _alive_.So I could handle it..."

He felt the bed shift as Wally sat up. "I'm alive now." His hand was covered by Wally's, a heavy blanket of comfort, an anchor to remind him Wally _was_ _alive_. A light squeeze urged him to continue.

"When you… disappeared… I couldn't… even with the Cave gone and the team working from the Watchtower… I thought leaving was best. My head wasn't in it and I didn't want to be the reason anyone else-"

"Hey. No one _blame_ you. I don't blame you. You had shitty choices to make. I never did apologize for yelling at you after the Cave was destroyed, did I?"

"You don't have to-"

"I'm sorry." His grip on his hand tightened.

"Me too."

Wally pulled his other hand into his. "I let my fear and worry fuel my anger, and I shouldn't have…"

He offered Wally a strained smile. "You were worried about Artemis. I _understand_."

"I was worried about you too, you idiot." Wally's grip was nearing painful. "And I should have been there to help. So you had someone on the team to trust- so you didn't have to bottle it all up. I should have helped you with that burden. I should-"

"Wally!" The grip on his hand softened. "I respected your choice then, and I respect it now. It's all in the past… let's keep working on the future."

It earned him a smile, "Yea. So… my demands are one night a week for game night. Just us."

Dick smiled back. "Just us. But, I can't promise once a week… cases… ya know?"

"Twice a month. And I'll come to the team's movie nights. Deal?"

"Deal."

* * *

Wally is normally the well behaved one for this fic, but he wanted to go off script and hop in the tub. Sigh.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, maybe there was something to the whole relaxation thing after all. It didn't mean he would put all of his work on hold. But he was going to be _relaxed_ while doing it. The floaty feeling wasn't just from the their 'couple's' massage. He attributed most of his ease to their conversation earlier that morning. Finally, they aired everything out in the open.

Well almost everything. But, honesty be damned; there was no way he would ruin their still shaky friendship with his _feelings_. He wouldn't fool himself into believing they were completely squared up, not yet.

Dick eyed Wally. His friend was sprawled out on their hotel bed, staring at the ceiling with half lidded eyes. He couldn't stop the grin from spreading further on his face.

"Are you just going to bliss out on the bed dude?" Dick swatted at his arm, "Make room."

"There's room. You didn't complain about laying on me this morning." For half a heartbeat, Dick wondered if Wally was inviting him to, what- snuggle? But, Wally complied, moving his arm to give Dick room to sit on the bed. "I need a massage like that, like, everyday."

Dick agreed, it had been so long since he'd felt so light and burden free- it felt weird. Not a good weird- the kind that made him itch to work. He booted up his laptop, time to fix that.

"Duuuuuuude." Wally threw his arm back to its previous location, landing right on Dick's keyboard. "Relaaaaaax."

He plucked Wally's arm up by the wrist and deposited it onto the bed. "Knowing my work is done relaxes me, Walls."

Wally rolled away muttering something that sounded a lot like 'stupid bats'. They stayed in mostly silence for a while, the only sounds in the room were Wally's snores and the tap of the keyboard.

Occasionally, Dick paused to admire how the light filtering in through the windows illuminated Wally's features. Each time he caught himself, he forced his eyes away. It was bad enough he woke up snuggled on top of his friend -for which Wally teased him about all day. And it would probably happen again that night. But he didn't need to torture himself, didn't need to rake his eyes over Wall like he had any business doing so.

After an hour, Wally sat up and gave Dick a dirty, groggy, look before heading to the kitchenette to reheat the leftovers from their post-massage lunch. Well, seconds, as Wally had ordered extra food.

Dick looked up from his work when Wally turned on the tv, flipping channels every few seconds.

"Okay. News. Weather. Static. Trash talk show." Wally tossed the remote on the bed and flopped in front of Dick. "Let's go outside."

Dick sighed. "Give me another hour? I'm onto something."

Wally groaned, "Duuuude."

"Watch the trash talk show."

It earned him a pillow to the face, but Wally left the trash on. "Did you bring a book or something?"

Dick nodded absentmindedly. "Yea, I have one in my bag." There, that should keep Wally occupied. It was some sci-fi thriller Tim was obsessed with. "Let me know how it is so I can pretend I read it when Tim asks."

He could hear Wally searching in his bag, rumbling about his disorganization. And maybe, just maaaaybe, he would look back and realize that he probably should have retrieved the book for Wally. And he would blame it on the massage leaving him light headed and floaty.

Wally slammed his laptop closed, nearly catching Dick's fingers in it.

"What the fu- oh" He looked away from his fuming friend.

"Seriously? After I asked you to not pack it." Wally threw the costume at him and grabbed his laptop.

"Wally-"

"Fuck." Wally skimmed the file Dick still had open. "Fu- sh- URGH." He shoved the computer back to Dick.

"Wal-"

Wally growled. "No," He pointed a Dick, dangerously close. "All of that this morning- was that just talk?"

"Wall-"

"Did you just agree to come with me because you had this case? Or did you take this case because you were coming here with me?" He crossed his arms, seething. His eyes bore into Dick's, fierce and watery.

Dick swallowed, watching their earlier progress crumble. There was no right answer there. "Wally I-"

"So, were you just planning on poofing off into the night while I slept?" His arms waved over his head then collapsed bonelessly to his side. "I give up. I thought…" He shook his head.

"Wally! Let me-" But Wally was gone in a blur, grabbing his coat and keys. "Now you use your speed, Jerk!"

He doubted Wally actually heard him, but it felt good to yell. Dick threw his costume to the floor. How hard was it for Wally to sit still and listen? He wiped a hand over his face. It wasn't the first case he worked on while 'vacationing', and it wasn't like he was ignoring Wally - or had before.

With a grunt, he opened his laptop. May as well finish what he was working on. He could argue with Wally once they both calmed down.

* * *

It was dark the next time Dick looked up from his work. Wally had not returned, nor had he called. Dick wondered if he would come back at all, or if he should work on finding another way home.

He rubbed his strained eyes and checked the time. Their dinner reservation was soon. Maybe he would luck out and the promise of good food (which he basically already paid for) would lure him back. It was worth a shot, and his empty stomach agreed on that course of action.

After a quick change into something _nicer_ , he made his way to the formal restaurant. It was amazing what a well tailored dress shirt and pants could do to turn heads. He noted several eyes divert his way as he past. A bitter part of him wondered what it would be like to have Wally turn his head towards him like that.

Wally was already at the table when the host lead him over. A cozy, private, table by the fireplace. It would have been romantic if it wasn't for the sour expression on Wally's face.

He glanced over the simple and expensive menu, happy the meal was 'free' since it was included with Wally's room package. The bitter voice was back, reminding him he shouldn't even be here, it wasn't a romantic weekend for _him_. He was just an afterthought.

"Walls…" How did he explain? "I'm sorry."

"Save it." Wally tilted the menu to block Dick from his view. "I'm eating, then packing."

"Please-"

He was interrupted by their server bringing water. She took their orders, which Dick was sure he wouldn't be able to eat.

"I'm done." Wally's voice was weak, his eyes closed. Dick's heart constricted; he caused his friend this pain, and it was all his own fault Wally was pushing him away.

"Wally." Dick reached across the table, covering Wally's hand with his own. His heart lurched at the touch, simple as it was. He gently rubbed his thumb along Wally's.

He expected Wally to pull away, to snarl at him. Maybe even jab him with a fork. But Dick never expected Wally to open his eyes, watery and raw, and stare straight at him. Wally didn't say anything, just stared, breathing shallow. He didn't throw off Dick's hand, maybe he would listen?

"I- I'm sorry Wally. Please," Dick pleaded, "forgive me."

Wally looked down at their hands. "I always do, don't I?" He paused, blinking away the wetness in his eyes. "You've always put me second…"

"That is not true!"

"And when I don't put you first, I get sidelined even more. That's what you said this morning, right? When Arte and I started dating, you-"

"Wally!" He swallowed, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in his throat. They cleared all that up, didn't they? Their friendship had been rocky, true, but they talked it out. Fixed it.

"I can't keep doing this. With you." Wally gave a humorless chuckle, "I'm done."

"You can't just- just decide to stop being friends with me!" Dick gripped Wally's hand tighter. "You're my best friend."

"Was. Forget it, I'm leaving now." Wally tried to pull his hand away, but Dick held on.

Dick swallowed. "Please. Stay."

Wally shook his head and looked at the floor. "Why should I?"

He could take Wally's anger, could take him yelling at him. But this… this solemn acceptance that years of friendship was over? How did he react to that? How did he explain to Wally how much he meant? Wally wasn't fighting anymore… he was giving up. Giving up their friendship. Giving up the possibility of _more_.

And even if Wally never forgave him, never spoke to him again, he deserved the truth. Dick owed Wally that much.

"Because, I love you."

The silence stretched, neither of them moving as his confession hung in the air. Wally's eyes opened slightly wider, the only indication he heard.  
Of course, that was the moment their food arrived. Dick, thanked their server as she sat the food on the table, and reassured her they didn't need anything else. His steak smelled amazing, but his appetite was all but gone.

Once she left, he slowly moved his hand off of Wally's. "I- I'm sorry. For everything. And I understand if you don't want to be friends- I- sorry, that was selfish." He looked up at the ceiling, cursing his heart. Wally just stared at him. "I shouldn't have told you."

"How long?"

Dick shook his head. "It doesn't matter." He pushed away from the table. "You can have my steak."

He didn't look back as he fled the dining room. The other guests were a blur as he nearly ran back to the room, fighting the prick of tears.

His heart was in his throat as he haphazardly threw his stuff back into his bag. He didn't know how he was going to get home, only that he needed to get away before Wally came back to the room. How could he have just blurted that out? After years of practice, he should have been able to keep his mouth shut.

He was stuffing his nightwing costume into the bag when the door opened. Dick shut his eyes tight. He could hear Wally pause, setting something on the table, before continuing into the bedroom. Dick's pulse raced when the footsteps stopped behind him, he didn't have the courage to turn around and face Wally.

"H-how long?"

Dick zipped his bag closed and stood up, still not facing Wally. "Too long."

The admission fell from his lips, and he wondered if the fresh air was messing with his head. Or maybe he was just tired of pretending.

"S-so all of those time you-"

"Don't do this," Dick pleaded. His heart was already trampled, Wally was already 'done', why drag it on? He picked up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. "I'll pick up a cab in town."

He didn't dare look at Wally when he turned around.

"Are you _kidding_ me?" Wally pulled his bag off his shoulder. "Not even twenty minutes ago you begged me to stay, and now _you_ want to leave?" He tossed the bag to the floor then crowded Dick, walking him into the wall.

A part of him was glad Wally's fire was back, the apathy had been worrisome. Wally stared at him, searching his face.

"You-" Wally blinked, biting his lip. "I'm sorry I freaked out."

Not what he expected. "I'll get over it. Please, just let me leave." His face burned.

Wally stepped back, running his hands through his hair as he began to pace. "You loved me- that's why you were so weird when Arte and I- and then- shit." He turned to Dick, both hands in his hair. "I had no idea."

"That was kinda the point."

"I was going to throw it away." Wally backed into the bed, sitting on the plush mattress. "I wasn't going to tell you- I was just going to-" He blinked up at Dick. "I don't know what to do."

"Walls?" Dick's heart skipped, did he have a chance afterall?

"I don't know. I don't…"

"Whoa," Dick knelt in front of Wall, taking his hands in his. "Easy. You don't have to do anything. I shouldn't have told you."

Wally snorted. "And what? We'd both be alone and miserable, and missing each other." He sighed, "I brought our dinner back."

Dick gave him a tentative smile, at the sudden topic change. "You can't let food go to waste, can you?"

"Hey, you said I could have your steak!" Wally's smile didn't quite reach his eyes, but the quip eased more of the tension between them. "But, I'd like if you would eat with me."

Dick nodded, stepping back. "Look, Wally… I don't want things to be weird between us."

Wally walked past him to to table where their food waited. He waited until Dick sat across from him before talking. "What do you want there to be between us?"

The question caught Dick off guard. "I'm not sure what… I don't want to lose you, Wally. I'm fine being friends."

"Are you?" Wally took a bite. Nothing could ruin his appetite, could it?

"Yes." Dick moved his food around his plate. "I want you in my life Wally. Any way I can."

Wally thought, eating his dinner in silence. Dick managed a few bites, but the way Wally kept looking at him had him on edge.

Finally, Wally sat his fork down. Dick held his breath, waiting for whatever Wally seemed to have decided. He would live with whatever choice he made. At the end of the day, Wall was alive, and that was all that mattered.

"If you're not going to eat that, I will." Wally met his eyes, holding his gaze with an intense stare. "I don't want to…" He trailed off, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Those few seconds were pure agony for Dick.

"Dick." Wally opened his eyes again. "I kept looking for something, a sign, anything. I used to think I could read you… is this what everyone else feels like? Not knowing what is going on in your head?"

Dick held his breath as Wally stood and moved around the table, stopping next to his chair.

"I- is it okay if I kiss you?"

He let his breath out in one quick puff, his pulse racing. "Walls."

"I've wanted to for a while." He leaned down so they were nose to nose. "It just took Roy pointing it out for me, to well, realize."

"Remind me to thank him." Wally's breath ghosted over his lips. Dick turned his head, "Not here."

Wally pulled back slightly, his eyebrows drawn together.

"Just a few months ago you were planning to ask Arte to _marry_ you." Dick stared at Wally's lips. They were so close, it would be so easy to close the gap between them and just give in.

"Dick, sharing a bed with you is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do- and you know what kind of missions I've been on. Any doubt I had went through the window when I woke up with you in my arms.

"It wasn't easy for me either," Dick admitted. He looked away again as he felt his eyes begin to sting. "None of this has been. I wanted to kiss you last night, and this morning. I wanted to kiss you when Arte left, wanted to hold you close and tell you how much you meant to me- that she would never be able to give you the love I could."

He shook a bit when Wally brushed at his cheek.

"Kiss me now. Tell me now." Wally trailed his hand down to cup Dick's jaw.

Dick swallowed, giving the slightest of nods. He'd imagined this thousands of times. Years of torment, wondering what Wally's lips would feel like, countless scenarios had played out in his head. And he finally didn't have to imagine anymore.

It was quick, a soft press with the sweet promise of more.

Wally's lips were not as chapped as he always thought they would be. The part if his brain which never turned off noted it was probably from his decreased heroing.

Their noses nuzzled together as they both basked, taking their time to catch their breaths. Wally pulled away first. He dropped his hand from Dicks jaw down to his hand.

"Worth the wait."

Wally smirked, "I'm just that amazing, babe."

Dick pulled Wally back down, kissing him again, no longer hesitant. "I know you are, babe."

* * *

~The end. Thank you for reading!

I think this is one of the messiest and least panned out fics I've done in a while. It wasn't supposed to be this long, and I kept wanting to add in things. Like, the case was Tim's but he bartered with Dick in return for watching Bludhaven.

If I do another birdflash fic I'll plan better haha.


End file.
